Bullying: What Can We Do?

February 22, 2025

One of the hardest parts of parenting is comforting your child when they have been hurt by something another kid said or did to them at school and feeling powerless to make it better. In Matthew 5:38-39, Jesus says, "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also." Elsewhere, the Bible says to love them, forgive them, pray for them, and do good things for them (Matthew 5:44, Matthew 6:14-15, Luke 6:27, and Ephesians 4:31-32). In the midst of the bullying, all of those things can seem impossible for both you and your child. Here are some steps to help both of you through it.

Working with the bully and safe adults

Some schools, churches, and justice systems have been using restorative justice practices as an alternative to punitive practices. If your school offers restorative justice, your child can speak to the one bullying them in a safe setting, say how the other's actions have impacted them, and provide suggestions for what can be done to make life better.

The child who is bullying is also an active participant in restorative justice. They are given the opportunity to take ownership of their actions; as a person, they are separate from their behavior, which means they can choose to act differently. In that safe setting, they can suggest what they can do to make things right. Restorative justice is a beautiful process that can help both parties heal and move forward in their lives.

This introductory video explains restorative justice and shows what actually happens in an RJ session.

Forgiving someone even when they're not sorry

However, the school, the child who is bullying, or their parents may not want to participate in restorative justice. The beautiful thing about forgiveness is that it doesn't have to involve the other person. Forgiveness is a heart thing. If you and your child want to deeply forgive someone who has bullied them, there are a few steps:

1. Encourage your child to name all of the ways that the bullying hurt them without making up excuses for the one who did the bullying. Ask your child how these actions impacted them.
2. Take a moment to feel the pain those actions have caused. Then, release the pain and that person to God. Pray, "In Jesus name, I forgive so-and-so for what they did." Pray over every hurt specifically.
3. Ask God to fill you and your child with the Holy Spirit, and then pray a blessing over the other person. Some Bible passages you could pray over the relationship include Isaiah 32:15-18, Isaiah 40:31, Philippians 4:19, Proverbs 3:5-6, and Romans 12:2.

It's heartbreaking to see our children hurting, but we can help them. As mom or dad, you can be there for them, listen to them, pray over them, pray for the other child, and help them devise safe strategies to stop the bullying. If you're unsure what to do, ask your child's teacher or principal for suggestions.

Check out Kids Corner's Power Tools: Take a Stand Against Bullying eBook to talk to your kids and family about bullying.

Want to dig deeper? Check out Family Fire's article A Christian Response to Bad Behavior.